Uthando ubuze besimo By Max Shulman

Cool kwaba I kuhleleke. Keen, ekubaleni, perspicacious, acute, futhi uyiqili–Ngangineminyaka zonke lezi. ubuchopho wami kwaba njengoba enamandla njengoba ugesi, as precise as a chemist’s scales, njengoba eyenza umuntu acabange eseZwini njengoba nommese. Futhi–cabanga-ke!–Ngangineminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalombili kuphela.
It is Akuvamile ukuba umuntu ukuze osemusha ingqondo giant enjalo. Thatha, Ngokwesibonelo, Petey Bellows, engihlala naye eyunivesithi. nobudala obufanayo, nesizinda, kodwa oyisimungulu njengenhlangano ok. A nice esikanye ngokwanele, uyaqonda, kodwa lutho upstairs. uhlobo Emotional. engazinzile. izwele. Okubi nakakhulu, a faddist. izimfashini, Ngiyavuma, yiyona kuphikisa okucabanga. Ukuze sikhukhuleke kuzo zonke Craze into entsha engenayo kanye, lizinikele ngokwakho idiocy nje ngoba bonke abanye bayayenza–lokhu, kimi, kuyinto Acme of mindlessness. Not, Nokho, ukuze Petey.
Ngenye intambama Ngathola Petey elele embhedeni wakhe nge nkulumo sosizi olungakaze ngobuso bakhe ukuthi mina ngokushesha kwatholakala ukuthi unesifo appendicitis. “Don’t move,” ngithe. “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get a doctor.
“Raccoon,” yena mumbled esinabantu.
“Raccoon?” ngithe, ukuhlaba ikhefu zindiza yami.
“Ngifuna ijazi raccoon,” yena sibangalasile.
Ngaqonda ukuthi inkathazo yakhe yayingahambisani ngokomzimba, kodwa ngokwengqondo. “Kungani ufuna ijazi raccoon?”
“Ngazile it,” wamemeza, ishaya ngamandla amathempeli yakhe. “I should have known they’d come back when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I iyisebenzise yonke imali yami ukuba izincwadi, and now I can’t get a raccoon coat.
“Can you mean,” Ngathi Bengakholwa, “ukuthi abantu empeleni ugqoke raccoon amabhantshi aphinde?”
“Zonke Big Men Campus ugqoke kubo. Where’ve you been?”
“In the umtapo,” ngithe, baqambe indawo hhayi zazivame ukuhanjwa Big Men Campus.
Yena wagxuma embhedeni futhi kuhambisane nesivinini sokufunda komfundi ekamelweni. “I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” Wathi inkanuko. “I’ve got to!”
“Petey, kungani? Kubheke enomqondo. Raccoon amajazi kukhona engahlanzekile. Bachitha. They sinuke kabi. Bahlaziya esiningi. They’re unsightly. They—”
You don’t understand,” wangingena emlonyeni ngamawala. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you want to be in the swim?”
“Azikho,” Ngathi truthfully.
“Well, I,” wamemezela. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”
ubuchopho My, ukuthi ukucacisa instrument, bengene gear okusezingeni. “Anything?” Ngibuzile, embuka esinda.
“Anything,” waqinisekisa e ukushaya tones.
I stroked isilevu yami ucabangisisa. Kwenzeka isimanga ukuthi ngangazi kuphi izandla zami phezu ijazi raccoon. Ubaba wabe babenendlela eyodwa ngezinsuku zakhe undergraduate; yalala manje isiqu elisophahleni lwendlu emuva ekhaya. Kwenzeka ukuthi Petey wayenokuthile okunenani ngangifuna. He didn’t have it exactly, kodwa okungenani ayenakho amalungelo kuqala kuwo. I ubheke intombazane yakhe, Polly Espy.
Kwase kuyisikhathi eside lokufuna Polly Espy. Angigcizelele ukuthi isifiso sami sokuba lona wesifazane osemusha kwakungeyona ngokomzwelo emvelweni. Kade, ukuze siqiniseke, intombazane yavusa imizwelo, kodwa mina wayengeyena umuntu inhliziyo yami abuse ikhanda lami. Ngangifuna Polly for ngokuhlakanipha ibalwa, Isizathu cerebral ngokuphelele.
Ngangiyisihambi freshman esikoleni emthethweni. In iminyaka embalwa Ngingathanda kube out in practice. I was well aware of the importance of the right kind of wife in furthering a lawyer’s career. Abameli yimpumelelo ngase ngibone babeyizinkulungwane, cishe ngaphandle kokukhetha, ushade enhle, nomusa, abesifazane ezihlakaniphile. With eyodwa ukungenzi, Polly zifakwa lezi Ukucaciswa kahle.
Beautiful kade. Wayengeyena okwamanje enkulu pin-up, kodwa Ngangiqiniseka ukuthi kwakuyofika isikhathi nikeza ukuntuleka. Yena beyivele ezazidingeka.
Unomusa kade. By nomusa I mean egcwele umusa. Bekanalo erectness of carraige, i kalula ukuthwala, a poise ukuthi ngokucacile the best zokuzalanisa. At yasetafuleni wakhe baba ngamashumi enkulu. I owayembonile ngesikhathi Kozy Kampus Korner kokudla okukhethekile wendlu–sinkhwa eyayinegama ezilahliwe ebhodweni eyosiwe, umhluzi, nati oqoshiwe, kanye dipper of sauerkraut–ngaphandle ngisho kokuthola iminwe yakhe omanzi.
Intelligent wayengeyena. Empeleni, yena echezuka kolunye uhlangothi. Kodwa ngikholelwa ukuthi ngaphansi kokuqondisa kwami ​​wayengeke aqhubeke smarten up. Kunoma yikuphi, ukuthi kuwufanele ngizame. Ikona, ngemva kwakho konke, lula ukwenza intombazane enhle eziyizimungulu smart ukwedlula ukwenza i-smart intombazane ugly enhle.
“Petey,” ngithe, “Kanti wena in love with Polly Espy?”
I think she’s a keen kid,” yena waphendula wathi, “but I don’t know if you’d call it love. Kungani?”
“Ingabe,” Ngibuzile, “kukhona uhlobo ilungiselelo esisemthethweni naye? Ngiqonde ukuthi uyahamba engaguquki noma okunje?”
“Azikho. Sibona nomunye impela kancane, kodwa sobabili sibe nezinye nezinsuku. Kungani?”
“Kulapho,” Ngibuzile, “nanoma yimuphi omunye umuntu osondelene naye enendawo esithanda ngokukhethekile?”
“Akukhona ukuthi ngazi. Kungani?”
Ngivuma ngekhanda ngokwaneliseka. “Ngamanye amazwi, uma ubungase aphume isithombe, emkhakheni azotholakala. Ingabe lelo lungelo?”
“ngicabanga kanjalo. Yini ekutholeni at?”
“Nothing, lutho,” Ngathi bubi, futhi wathatha ipotimende lami aphume ekamelweni.
“Uyaphi?” kubuza Petey.
“Home for the ngempelasonto.” Ngalahla izinto ezimbalwa esikhwameni.
“Lalela,” uthe, ephethe ingalo yami ngokulangazela, “while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money from your old man, ungakwazi, futhi usibeke kimi ukuze ngikwazi ukuthenga ingubo raccoon?”
“I angase enze kangcono kunalokho,” Ngathi ngokucisha iso ongaqondakali futhi wavala esikhwameni sami kwesokunxele.
“Bheka,” Ngathi ukuba Petey lapho ngibuya ngoMsombuluko ekuseni. Ngalahla ukuvula ipotimende, wembula omkhulu, hairy, intfo gamy ukuthi ubaba wayeke igqoke Stutz yakhe Bearcat e 1925.
“Holy Toledo!” UPetru wathi ngokuhlonipha. Yena kwafaka izandla zakhe zibe raccoon coat bese ubuso bakhe. “Holy Toledo!” wakuphinda eyishumi nanhlanu noma amabili izikhathi.
“Ungathanda it?” Ngibuzile.
“awu yebo!” wamemeza, ephethe lo isikhumba sesilwane esinoboya okunamafutha kuye. Bese look esiyiqili weza amehlo akhe. “Ufunani ngoba?”
“intombazane,” ngithe, ecokama akukho mazwi.
“Polly?” wabuza in a ngekuhleba akafe. “Ufuna Polly?”
That’s right.
Yena wajikijela ijazi kusuka kuye. “Ungalokothi,” Wathi stoutly.
I uyaziqhelelanisa nezinsolo ezimthintayo. “Okay. If you don’t want the be in the swim, I guess it’s your business.
Ngahlala phansi esihlalweni wazishaya ukufunda incwadi, kodwa aphume ekhoneni iso lami ngaqhubeka ngibhekile Petey. Wayengumuntu edabukile. Okokuqala wabheka at ijazi ne ukubonakaliswa waif efasiteleni ebhikawozi. Ngalesosikhathi he jikisa bese usetha umhlathi wakhe ngokuzimisela. Khona-ke wabheka emuva ngaleso elingenamikhono, ukulangazelela nakakhulu ebusweni bakhe. Ngalesosikhathi he jikisa, kodwa nge isixazululo hhayi kangaka ngalesi sikhathi. Emuva naphambili ikhanda lakhe swiveled, isifiso Waxing, nesinqumo isiphela. Ekugcineni, he didn’t turn away at all; yena nje wema futhi bebambe nge mad nenkanuko at ijazi.
It isn’t as though I was in love with Polly,” Wathi esinabantu. “Noma uya engaguquki noma okunje.”
That’s right,” I babubula.
What’s Polly to me, noma me to Polly?”
“Not into,” Ngathi:.
It’s just been a casual kick–ambalwa nje UYAHLEKA, that’s all.
“Zama on the coat,” Ngathi:.
walalela. I coat bunched okusezingeni ezindlebeni zakhe kwachitheka zonke indlela phansi isicathulo sakhe eziqongweni. Wabheka like kwendunduma yenhlabathi raccoon efile. “Ohambisana emihle,” Wathi bobabili sekumnandi.
“Ingabe deal?” Ngibuzile, Elulela isandla sami.
He kugwinywe. “It’s a deal,” Wathi walula isandla sami.
Kwadingeka usuku lwami lokuqala ne-Polly kusihlwa ezilandelayo. Lokhu kwakuphambi kwaLowo uhlobo inhlolovo; Ngangifuna ukuthola ukuthi ungakanani umsebenzi kwadingeka ukuba ukwenze ukuze uthole umqondo wakhe kuze kube okujwayelekile I edingekayo. Ngithatha isancinza sami sokuqala dinner. “Gee, ukuthi wayengumuntu dinner delish,” Wathi lapho sishiya yokudlela. Ngibe sengithatha wakhe movie. “Gee, ukuthi wayengumuntu movie marvy,” Wathi lapho sishiya enkundleni yemidlalo. Futhi ke mina wamthatha wamletha kwakhe. “Gee, Ngaba nesikhathi sensaysh,” Wathi njengoba lona wesifazane wayesethi kimi goodnight.
Ngabuyela ekamelweni lami bokwehlukana. Ngangisanda kwaphazamiseka ngendawo umsebenzi wami. This girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nome-ke kube ngokwanele ukuze nje kuphela ukwanelisa wakhe ngolwazi. Okokuqala kwadingeka ukuba ukucabanga. Lokhu lwase njengendlela project of akukho izilinganiso ezincane, futhi ekuqaleni Kwakuthi angiye alinike emuva Petey. Kodwa-ke mina ngikwazile ngicabanga ngokwengeziwe ngaYe izintelezi wakhe obuningi ngokomzimba futhi mayelana nendlela yangena ekamelweni nendlela ayisingatha yembangi, futhi nganquma ukwenza umzamo.
Ngaya ngakho, njengoba kuzo zonke izinto, ehlelekile. Ngamnika inkambo logic. Kwenzeka ukuthi mina, njengoba umfundi umthetho, wayethatha inkambo logic ngokwami, ngakho kwadingeka wonke amaqiniso kutholakale yami. “Polly,” Ngathi kuye lapho Ngangimlanda ngosuku lwethu olulandelayo, “kulobubusuku siya phezu Knoll futhi inkulumo.”
“The, terrif,” Umfazi waphendula wathi:. Enye into Ngizothi le ntombazane: Ubungeke ukuya kude ukuze zithole esinye ovumelana ngakho.
Saya Knoll, indawo campus trysting, futhi sahlala phansi phansi kwe-oki, futhi yena Wangibuka alinde: “Sizofunda ukukhuluma mayelana?” eyicelayo.
“Logic.”
Wacabanga lokhu phezu umzuzu owodwa wanquma uyithandile. “Magnif,” wathi.
“Logic,” ngithe, aziqede umphimbo wami, “isayensi yokucabanga. Ngaphambi singacabanga ngendlela efanele, kumelwe siqale sifunde ukuqaphela fallacies ezivamile logic. Lezi sizoyithatha up tonight.”
“Wow-Dow!” wakhala, zishaya izandla zakhe delightedly.
I winced, kodwa waya ngesibindi ku. “Okokuqala ake sihlole ubuze besimo esibizwa Dicto Simpliciter.”
“Ngazo zonke izindlela,” wanxusa, batting eyelashes wakhe ngokulangazela.
“Dicto Simpliciter kusho i-agumenti okusekelwe nje okungaqondile ukuzibhala. Ngokwesibonelo: Ukuvivinya umzimba kuhle. Ngakho everybody kufanele alisebenzise.”
“Ngiyavuma,” wathi Polly ngobuqotho. “I mean umzimba omangalisayo. I mean it eyakha umzimba nakho konke.”
“Polly,” Ngathi ngobumnene, “i-agumenti is a ubuze besimo. Ukuvivinya umzimba okahle nje okungaqondile ukuzibhala. Ngokwesibonelo, uma une isifo senhliziyo, Ukuvivinya kubi, akukuhle. Abantu abaningi ihlelwe odokotela babo ngeke ukuzivocavoca. Wena kumelwe ihlangabezane nezimfuneko the nje okungaqondile. Kumelwe uthi ukuzivocavoca ngokuvamile kuhle, noma umzimba kuhle abantu abaningi. Kungenjalo wena benzile Dicto Simpliciter. Ingabe ubona?”
“Azikho,” yena wakhuluma waphandlesela. “Kodwa lena marvy. Yenza okuningi! Yenza okuningi!”
“Kuyoba ngcono uma uyeka ezibangisana emkhonweni wami,” Ngamtshela, futhi lapho yena uziyekile, ngaqhubeka. “Okulandelayo sithathe a ubuze besimo esibizwa Ukusheshe nje okungaqondile. Lalelisisa: You can’t speak French. I can’t speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. Ngakho-ke mina, kumelwe siphethe ngokuthi akekho at University of Minnesota angakhuluma French.”
“Ngempela?” wathi Polly, amazed. “Akekho?”
Ngafihla ukucikeka yami. “Polly, it’s a fallacy. I nje okungaqondile kufinyelelwe kakhulu ngokuxhamazela. Kunezindawo ezimbalwa kakhulu instances ukuba basekele isiphetho esinjalo.”
“Yazi yimuphi fallacies ngaphezulu?” eyicelayo ehefuzela. “Lena fun ezingaphezu kuka dancing ngisho.”
Ngalwa off igagasi lokuphelelwa ithemba. Ngaboniswa entweni engakuyisi ndawo nale ntombazane, ngokuphelele zizenzakalele. Namanje, Angilutho uma kungenjalo persistant. ngaqhubeka. “Kube sekulandela Thumela Lokhu. Lalela lokhu: Let’s not take Bill on our picnic. Everytime sike sizinike isikhathi uphume kanye nathi, kuyanetha.”
“Ngiyazi somebody like nje ukuthi,” ebabaza. “Intombazane emuva ekhaya–EULA Becker, Igama lakhe u. It alusoze lwaphela. Njalo lapho single sithatha wakhe on a epikinikini–”
“Polly,” Ngathi ngqo, “it’s a fallacy. Eula Becker doesn’t cause the rain. Yena engahlobene nesenzakalo imvula. Wena enecala Post Lokhu uma sisole EULA Becker.”
I’ll never do it again,” Wathembisa ngokudabuka. “Ingabe ungithukuthelele?”
I wabubula. “Azikho, Polly, I’m not mad.
“Ngitshele ezinye fallacies ngaphezulu.”
“Kulungile. Let’s try Contradictory Premises.
“Yebo, let’s,” yena chirped, eshaywa amehlo bakhe ngenjabulo.
I ayamukeleki, kodwa kwafaka phambili. “Here’s an example of Contradictory Premises: Uma uNkulunkulu angenza noma yini, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t be able to lift it?”
“Kunjalo,” yena waphendula ngokushesha.
“Kodwa uma ungenza yonke into, Yena lingenza itshe,” Ngatshela.
“Yeah,” esho ucabangisisa. “Well, then I guess He can’t make the stone.
“Kodwa Angenza noma yini,” I wamkhumbuza.
Yena emibi wakhe pretty, ikhanda ezingenalutho. “I’m all confused,” wavuma.
“Yebo wena. Ngoba lapho izakhiwo ingxabano kungqubuzane, akukho kungabaza agumenti. Uma kukhona i force irresitible, akukho kungabaza object engenakususwa. Uma kukhona intfo engenakususwa, akukho kungabaza mandla angahlulwa yilutho. Yithole?”
“Ngitshele ezinye ngaphezulu lento okubukhali,” esho ngokulangazela.
Ngaya kodokotela iwashi lami. “I think we’d better call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have another session tomorrow night.
I deposited her at the girl’s dormitory, lapho yena wangiqinisekisa ukuthi ayengazange kusihlwa ngokuphelele terrif, futhi ngaya ekamelweni lami glumly ekhaya. Petey walala snoring embhedeni wakhe, elingenamikhono raccoon baqoqene kuhle kwesilo omkhulu onoboya ezinyaweni zakhe. Okomzuzwana ngishaye nokuvuka kwakhe futhi eyitshela ukuthi wayengase abe intombazane yakhe emuva. Kwakubonakala kucace ukuthi project yami wawuzofekela. Le ntombazane nje inhloko logic-ubufakazi.
Kodwa-ke mina uhlaziywe. Engangisichithile ngobunye ubusuku; Ngingahle njengoba ukuchitha kahle enye. Ubani owayazi? Mhlawumbe endaweni ethile kule ndawo ezingasekho kwengqondo yakhe Amalahle ambalwa kuphela namanje smoldered. Mhlawumbe ngandlela-thile ukuthi nginga fan kubo amalangabi. Kuyavunywa bekungelona nethemba igcwele ithemba, kodwa nganquma owodwa ngizame more.
Ihlezi phansi kwe-oki ngakusasa kusihlwa Ngathi, “okokuqala ubuze besimo tonight lethu libizwa ngokuthi Ad Misericordiam.”
Yena wavevezela ngokujabula.
“lalelisisa,” ngithe. “Umuntu ofake isicelo umsebenzi. Lapho boss uyambuza izimfanelo zakhe zinkulu kangakanani, uphendula ngokuthi yena unomfazi nezingane eziyisithupha ekhaya, yinkosikazi Kunjengokungathi ongakwazi ukuzisiza, izingane asinalutho oludliwayo, akukho sinezingubo zokugqoka, akukho nezicathulo ezinyaweni zawo, abekho imibhede endlini, akukho amalahle emiphongolweni, futhi ebusika uyeza.”
A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks. “Oh, lokhu kuyinto kabi,” yena wachiphiza.
“Yebo, it’s awful,” ngavuma, “but it’s no argument. The man never answered the boss’s question about his qualifications. Instead he appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He bophezela ubuze besimo Ad Misericordiam. Uyaqonda?”
“Uke got a iduku?” yena blubbered.
Ngadlulisela wakhe iduku futhi wazama ukuba ngigweme nokuklabalasa ngesikhathi wesula amehlo akhe. “Olandelayo,” Ngathi ithoni elawulwa kahle, “elandelayo sizoxoxa ngokuthi bangasizwa Analogy False. Nasi isibonelo: Abafundi kufanele bavunyelwe ukuba sibheke tincwadzi tifundvo tabo ngesikhatsi izivivinyo. Ngemva kwakho konke, odokotela abahlinzayo babe ama-X ray ukuba zibaqondise ngesikhathi sihlinzwa, abameli babe briefs khaphi them ngesikhathi kuqulwa icala, ababazi babe amapulani khaphi them uma they wakha indlu. Kungani, ke, shouldn’t students be allowed to look at their textbooks during an examination?”
“Kukhona manje,” esho la mazwi ngomdlandla:, “is the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.
“Polly,” Ngathi testily, “i-agumenti kuyinto kahle. Odokotela, abameli, and carpenters aren’t taking a test to see how much they have learned, kodwa abafundi. The izimo elihluke ngokuphelele kuleli, and you can’t make an analogy between them.
I still think it’s a good idea,” wathi Polly.
“Nuts,” I muttered. Ayebambelele I ziqhubeka. “Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary to Fact.
“umsindo Yummy,” was Polly’s reaction.
“Lalela: Uma Madame Curie azikaze ukushiya plate enezithombe ekhabetheni nge isinqamu of pitchblende, namuhla izwe kungabi namuntu owaziyo mayelana Radium.”
“Yiqiniso, weqiniso,” wathi Polly, nodding ikhanda lakhe. “Ingabe ubona ukuthi likhona movie? Oh, it nje wangqongqoza me out. Lokho Walter Pidgeon kuyinto Ungadliwa kangaka. I mean yena waphuka kimi.”
“Uma ungakwazi ukukhohlwa Mr. Pidgeon okomzuzwana,” Ngathi coldly, “Ngithanda aveze ukuthi isitatimende a ubuze besimo. Mhlawumbe Madame Curie ngabe wathola Radium esikhathini esithile kamuva. Mhlawumbe omunye umuntu ngabe wathola it. Mhlawumbe iyiphi inombolo yezinto bekuyokwenzekani. You can’t start with a hypothesis that is not true and then draw any supportable conclusions from it.
“Kwakufanele ukubeka Walter Pidgeon e izithombe,” wathi Polly. “I hle umbone.”
One chance ngaphezulu, Ngenze isinqumo. Kodwa eyodwa nje. Kukhona kulinganiselwe lokho inyama negazi akunakulidla athwale. “Ubuze besimo elilandelayo ubizwa ngokuthi ushevu Well.”
“Kuhle kangakanani!” yena gurgled.
“Abalisa ababili abanesimo mpikiswano. Eyokuqala uyasukuma uthi, ‘My opponent is a notorious liar. You can’t believe a word that he is going to say’… Manje, Polly, cabanga. Cabanga kanzima. What’s wrong?”
Ngayibona igxumagxuma eduze njengoba yena amasokisi brow wakhe alube emakamu. Kungazelelwe inhlansi intelligence–owokuqala sengibone–weza amehlo akhe. “It’s not fair,” esho ethukuthele. “It’s not a bit fair. Yini ithuba uye umuntu wesibili got uma umuntu wokuqala umbiza ngokuthi umqambimanga ngaphambi kokuba ngisho uqala ukukhuluma?”
“Right!” Ngakhala umtshela. “eziyikhulu amaphesenti ilungelo. It’s not fair. Umuntu wokuqala uye ushevu ngaphakathi kahle ngaphambi noma ubani wamphusiza kuwo. Uye wanquma imisipha yawo imbangi yakhe ngaphambi kokuba uqale ngisho… Polly, I’m proud of you.
“Pshaw,” yena babubula, besimayili nokukhophozela ubumnandi.
“Uyabona, othandekayo wami, these things aren’t so hard. Konke kufanele ukwenze nje ukugxilisa ingqondo. Cabanga–sihlole–nokulinganisa. Woza manje, let’s review everything we have learned.
“Dubula kude,” esho nge wave Airy esandleni sakhe.
Nathi. nokwazi ukuthi Polly kwaba akawuthandi a cretin, Ngaqala eside, Ukubuyekeza isiguli konke I wayemtshelile. Over and ngokuphindaphindiwe I ekhonjiwe instances, waveza ukushiyeka kwethu okungathí, wayelokhu okhanda away ngaphandle kokuyekethisa. Kwakungathi imba umgodi. Ekuqaleni konke kwaba umsebenzi, izithukuthuku, nobumnyama. Ngangingabazi nhlobo lapho ngangilifunda njalo ukufinyelela ukukhanya, noma uma benginga. Kodwa ngaphikelela. I yashaywa futhi clawed wayokhuhla, futhi ekugcineni Ngavuzwa. Ngase ngibona chink sokukhanya. Bese kuthi-ke chink saba sikhulu futhi ilanga kwafika ethela nawo wonke babukhanya.
Five nights akhathazayo lokhu kwakudla, kodwa angizisoli. Ngangenze logician out of Polly; Engangibafundise wakhe ukuba acabange. Umsebenzi wami kwakwenziwa. Wayengumngane kangifanele at last. Wayengumngane kimi umfazi kufanelekile, umngenisi wezihambi efanele mansions zami ngenyuke, ongumama efanelekayo izingane zami kahle heeled.
Akumelwe kucatshangwe ukuthi ngangineminyaka ngaphandle uthando le ntombazane. Ngokuphambene. Njengoba nje Pygmalion walithanda Lona wesifazane ophelele wayesike ukulolongwa, ngakho Ngangikuthanda emayini. Sase sifikile isikhathi sokuba ashintshe ubuhlobo bethu kusukela ezingathakazelisi zezifundiswa yothando.
“Polly,” Ngathi uma senza esilandelayo wahlala ngaphansi kwesihlahla se-okhi yethu, “kulobubusuku thina ngeke nixoxe fallacies.”
“Aw, Gee,” wathi, badumazeke.
“Othandekayo wami,” ngithe, besekela wakhe emomotheka, “Manje siye ubusuku ezinhlanu wazihlanganisa. Siye ayithole kanye ezigqoke. Kuyacaca ukuthi thina abafanelana kahle.”
“nje okungaqondile Ukusheshe,” wathi Polly egqamile.
“Ngicela uphinde,” Ngathi:.
“nje okungaqondile Ukusheshe,” ephinda. “Ungasho kanjani ukuthi thina abafanelana kahle ngesisekelo nezinsuku ezinhlanu kuphela?”
I chuckled nge yokuzijabulisa. Ingane othandekayo zafunda wakhe kahle. “Othandekayo wami,” ngithe, patting ikhanda lakhe ngendlela ezikwaziyo ukubekezela, “nezinsuku ezinhlanu inala. Ngemva kwakho konke, you don’t have to eat a whole cake to know that it’s good.
“Analogy False,” wathi Polly ngokushesha. “I’m not a cake. I’m a girl.
I chuckled nge yokuzijabulisa Kuthi kancane. Ingane othandekayo ayekufunde esifundweni sakhe mhlawumbe kahle kakhulu. Nganquma ukushintsha amaqhinga. Ngokusobala ndlela engcono kakhulu elula, strong, isimemezelo ngqo yothando. Ngathi ukuma kancane, ingqondo yami omkhulu wakhetha amagama afanele. Ngabe sengiqala:
“Polly, Ngiyakuthanda. Wena izwe lonke kimi, nenyanga nezinkanyezi kanye nemilaza yezinkanyezi ezingaphezu kokwenza emkhathini ongaphandle. Ngiyacela, isithandwa sami, ungasho ukuthi wena uzohamba engaguquki nami, ngoba uma ngeke, ukuphila kuyoba yize. Ngizokwenza bayethe. Ngizokwenza abenqabayo kokudla kwami. I abayozulazula ubuso bomhlaba, a shambling, ozwakala-eyed hulk.”
Lapho, Ngacabanga, alo izingalo zami, okufanele sikwenze.
“esiheni,” wathi Polly.
I kutsho amazinyo ami. Bengingekho Pygmalion; Ngangineminyaka Frankenstein, futhi monster wami kwadingeka kimi emphinjeni. Ayekwesinye Ngalwa igagasi ukwethuka agubhayo ngami. Ngaso sonke izindleko kwadingeka ukuba ngiqhubeke cool.
“Well, Polly,” ngithe, ukuphoqa smile, “ngokuqinisekile baye bafunda fallacies yakho.”
You’re darn right,” esho nge ikhanda eyingqabavu.
“Futhi owafundisa zona, Polly?”
“Wenza.”
That’s right. Ngakho wenza kanjalo ungikweleta okuthile, don’t you, othandekayo wami? If I hadn’t come along you would never have learned about fallacies.
“Hypothesis lokhu kuphikisana kangakanani neqiniso,” esho kweso.
Ngaphuthuma ngaya ukujuluka kusukela brow yami. “Polly,” I croaked, “You mustn’t take all these things so literally. Ngisho lokhu kuyinto eklasini Izinto nje. You know that the things you learn in school don’t have anything to do with life.
“wamane wathi nje,” wathi, ukunikina umunwe wakhe at me ngidlala.
Kwaba kusukile lokho. I wagxuma wama ngezinyawo zami, bellowing njengenkabi iya. “Ingabe wena noma ngeke uhambe engaguquki nami?”
“Ngeke,” Umfazi waphendula wathi:.
“Kungani kungenjalo?” I safuna ngenkani.
“Ngoba lokhu ntambama ngathembisa Petey Bellows ukuthi ngingathanda engaguquki naye.”
I reeled emuva, ukunqoba ne zehlazo kwalo. Ngemva ebekhuluma, ngemuva wenza idili, ngemva kokuba walula isandla sami! “Lokho rat!” I shrieked, kwakusuka chuncks olukhulu Turf. “You can’t go with him, Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.
“Ushevu Well,” wathi Polly, “futhi yekani ukumemeza. Ngicabanga ukumemeza kumele kube ubuze besimo kakhulu.”
With an umzamo omkhulu yentando, I modulated izwi lami. “Kulungile,” ngithe. “You’re a logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. Kanjani you ukhetha Petey Bellows phezu kwami? Ngibheke–okhaliphile, a yengqondo ebhaliwe okusika, umuntu owayelomoya ikusasa okuqinisekisiwe. Bukani Petey–ifindo-ekhanda, a jitterbug, a guy who’ll never know where his next meal is coming from. Ungangenzela isizathu esisodwa enengqondo kungani kufanele uhambe engaguquguquki nge Petey Bellows?”
“I Ngokuqinisekile can,” wamemezela Polly. “He’s got a racoon coat.
…..Okuningi

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